The Igloo

My name is 婶婶

nobody@vox.com(KoalaCling) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 23:24:45 +0800

Out of the blue, our nephew Brandon asked me today, "婶婶 (Aunt), what is your Chinese name?"

The question took me by surprise. This means that the four-year old is now aware that the adults, like his classmates at the childcare centre, too come individually packed with their own names - with Chinese, English and dialect variations to boot.

I hesitated with my answer. For all our pally good times, the nephews have never known my name. For a moment there, I had a vision of an Internet chatroom pal suddenly demanding to know my real identity. Was I going to tell?

Nope, I chickened out. "My Chinese name is 婶婶,", I told the boy.

;)

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中"独"了

nobody@vox.com(KoalaCling) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 23:00:38 +0800

"独", 很深
让三点半的午后, 比午夜更寂静
未成型的思绪
或随呼吸蒸发去, 或象冰块化不去
不是缥缈, 就是哽咽
"惜独"
难道也是一种病
让人渐渐步向"声"亡?

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生活.孩子.压力

nobody@vox.com(KoalaCling) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 16:53:42 +0800

前两天带爸爸去看医生.他看着医生们在医院里忙着, 又说了, 如果你和妹妹当年是读医科的,那有多好.
已经不是第一次听他这么说了.

又和妈妈谈到阿姨. 她说, 年轻时的阿姨也算是专业人士, 后来为了能照顾孩子,放弃了工作,当起家庭主妇. 她的牺牲, 造就了三个孩子的成功, 培育了三个前途光明的人才. 我暗自庆幸, 还好我不是阿姨的女儿, 要不然她一定后悔死 - 牺牲了, 培育出的仍是一个庸人.

我忍不住,还是和妈妈说了, 孩子是孩子, 自己是自己, 可不可以不要把两件事扯在一起? 把自己的成就感, 建立在儿女的成功与否, 是不是对儿女的压力太大了? 是否剥夺了儿女日后选择的权利?某某妈妈为了照顾年幼的女儿放弃了自己的事业, 日后女儿长大有了自己的孩子后, 是否还有权力也选择放弃事业, 在家当全职妈妈? 还是会有种无形的压力, 要努力地让上一代的牺牲与"投资", 得到最大的效应, 获得最大的回报, 所以非得"越成功越好?"

拼命地往前跑, 压力固然很大, 但坚持平淡,普通, 压力也不小.
满足于 "丰衣足食", "够吃够用" 的小幸福, 维持得很吃力.

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了了。

nobody@vox.com(KoalaCling) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 16:29:12 +0800

你忘了。
我笑了。
放下了。
可以了。

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Swinging by...

nobody@vox.com(KoalaCling) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 16:26:22 +0800

...to say hi to those who missed me. I'm sorry I haven't been blogging - I'm not sure what's gotten into me but I have been in a perpetual state of blankness of late. I don't want to think very much, and what naturally follows is that I don't write very much either.

But here's just a quick update on what's going on in my life right now. We celebrated my birthday yesterday, in our usual quiet way. The mister took a day off work and we set off for a dimsum lunch and then scrambled back home again to lay our hands on the Nintendo Wii he got me. I'm nursing an aching arm now from all the cyber-tennis. ;)

Thoughts on turning a year older...well, usually I'm not one to be afraid of growing older, but this time I resent the reminder that my biological clock is ticking away. It's unsettling. Maybe we will never get there and I should just ignore the ticking of the clock since it's probably irrelevant, but the noise is...infinitely irritating. So for now, I say, somebody kill that alarm clock please.

Other than that annoying bit, life's generally fine, life goes on.

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Now watching: Planet Earth

nobody@vox.com(KoalaCling) — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 16:56:18 +0800

And my favourite line of the day is,

"Flooded, burnt, baked and frozen,
grass can withstand it all."

- as quoted from the documentary Planet Earth

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Overheard: Brandon Says...

nobody@vox.com(KoalaCling) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 20:32:25 +0800

Zachary makes a mess of the living room and their mum asks both boys to pick up the toys before they are allowed a candy treat. Brandon is reluctant because he did not mess up the room, it was Zachary who did.

Their mum: "If you don't help your brother Zachary clean this mess up, he won't get to eat this candy."
Brandon (without missing a beat): "Does that mean I can have both pieces of candy?"

=__=||

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Haven't been blogging much...

nobody@vox.com(KoalaCling) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 20:27:31 +0800

...coz' I have been gorging myself silly on mindless indulgences like Internet TV, Facebook games and simply doing nothing. I know it is therapeutic because I am longer afraid of my handphone's ringtone. Yes, long long ago, in a workplace galaxy one month ago, I was so keyed up I literally jumped whenever I heard my handphone ring. I have since changed my ringtone, haha.

So, life is a blissful blank right now. I'll be back when I snap out of this lalala state.

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放慢脚步

nobody@vox.com(KoalaCling) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 18:59:57 +0800

这一年来, 生活过得很紧绷，现在突然慢了下来, 需要时间适应。时间上的分配，金钱上的支配，都需要调整。
还好，因为摆脱了上班族的忙碌，不需要用消费来减压，恰恰适合缩了水的荷包。

对物质的欲望减少了，有点在为生活解毒 (detox) 的感觉。

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出去走走

nobody@vox.com(KoalaCling) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 15:18:50 +0800

又推掉了另一份不错的全职工作，得到的结论是，虽然对自己想要的有点模糊，对自己所不想要的，却是清楚得很。这也算是向前迈进了一步吧。

选择了放弃朝九晚五的安定，害怕吗？说真的，有一点。这种自由，是要用钱买的：原本能领的年薪，就是这自由的价码。买了这么贵的自由，会害怕 “下错了赌注”，回报不及本钱，得不偿失。不过，如果因为害怕（怕输心理+对未知的恐惧）而死抓着不放，又怎么可能让自己有机会出走出这已经走了太久的框框呢？

放得下，这是我的财富，让我有本钱能去开拓不一样的精彩。
来临的一年里，任务就是出去走走，听听别人的故事，体会生活中大大小小的感动。值不值得，日后自然会有分晓。

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