Out of the blue, our nephew Brandon asked me today, "婶婶 (Aunt), what is your Chinese name?"
The question took me by surprise. This means that the four-year old is now aware that the adults, like his classmates at the childcare centre, too come individually packed with their own names - with Chinese, English and dialect variations to boot.
I hesitated with my answer. For all our pally good times, the nephews have never known my name. For a moment there, I had a vision of an Internet chatroom pal suddenly demanding to know my real identity. Was I going to tell?
Nope, I chickened out. "My Chinese name is 婶婶,", I told the boy.
;)
"独", 很深
让三点半的午后, 比午夜更寂静
未成型的思绪
或随呼吸蒸发去, 或象冰块化不去
不是缥缈, 就是哽咽
"惜独"
难道也是一种病
让人渐渐步向"声"亡?
前两天带爸爸去看医生.他看着医生们在医院里忙着, 又说了, 如果你和妹妹当年是读医科的,那有多好.
已经不是第一次听他这么说了.
又和妈妈谈到阿姨. 她说, 年轻时的阿姨也算是专业人士, 后来为了能照顾孩子,放弃了工作,当起家庭主妇. 她的牺牲, 造就了三个孩子的成功, 培育了三个前途光明的人才. 我暗自庆幸, 还好我不是阿姨的女儿, 要不然她一定后悔死 - 牺牲了, 培育出的仍是一个庸人.
我忍不住,还是和妈妈说了, 孩子是孩子, 自己是自己, 可不可以不要把两件事扯在一起? 把自己的成就感, 建立在儿女的成功与否, 是不是对儿女的压力太大了? 是否剥夺了儿女日后选择的权利?某某妈妈为了照顾年幼的女儿放弃了自己的事业, 日后女儿长大有了自己的孩子后, 是否还有权力也选择放弃事业, 在家当全职妈妈? 还是会有种无形的压力, 要努力地让上一代的牺牲与"投资", 得到最大的效应, 获得最大的回报, 所以非得"越成功越好?"
拼命地往前跑, 压力固然很大, 但坚持平淡,普通, 压力也不小.
满足于 "丰衣足食", "够吃够用" 的小幸福, 维持得很吃力.
